Adaeze Emekwuru
BIO
PhD student in renewable energy. Mom of one.
Instagram: @ada10_esus
Twitter: @AdaezeEmekwuru
Adaeze Emekwuru
“I planned and shared my time between getting something extra done that would fetch me some funds, attending to my son as a single mother, and my research.”
I began my doctoral program when my son was barely three years old. By then I had gone through one of the worst divorces ever! The man was irresponsible and a big-time liar. My family looked down on me and that made life uncomfortable. Despite all this, I was determined to push on with my PhD program.
I got a teaching job with a meagre salary in the school where I enrolled my son for his kindergarten. After the first semester my employment ended up being terminated because of the PhD program.
I still did not give up, I borrowed money virtually for everything ranging from accommodation fees, school fees and even food. As I passed through this phase I kept on reassuring myself that I was on half clutch and things would get better.
At one point in time, I applied for a PhD with integrated study in Chemical Engineering in the UK. God was so merciful and I was admitted, but did not receive a scholarship to actualize that dream. I had to continue pushing in my country.
During the first phase of my PhD programme, I had to sit-in for classes. When I had some free time from classes, I would work on assignments, prepare for class presentations, peer discussions and then do my personal study. The realization of the amount of work I needed to scale through the hurdle of my PhD qualifying examination was also another motivation to get me going through that phase.
As the research component of my programme started off, I realized that I needed to have something more tangible to get me moving. I knew I had full control of my time and I needed to work hard independently to execute my project. This made me think critically about my reason for pursuing a PhD and how it aligned with my life’s purpose. This became my morning carol - it now reawakens the need to get something extra done in order to proceed with my bench work. I planned and shared my time between getting something extra done that would fetch me some funds, attending to my son as a single mother, and my research.
The nature of the experiments I was about to do was a lot different from the skills I have acquired so far in my field of study, but I knew that I needed to start from somewhere. With some encouragement from my mentor, I set up my first experiments but along the way I found out I had flaws in the first set up. I had to cancel that experiment, then I started another one. I was destabilized. From each experimental set up, I learn, unlearn and relearn new ways of doing things, and this makes it a little exciting. Looking back, I realize that there is never a time when I would feel adequately primed to begin a new round of experiments or, in fact, anything in life. I need to start from somewhere - anywhere.
Gradually, days creeped into months and now to years, this leaves me wondering where all the time went. I am currently in my final year of my PhD program, which is my research year, and it has been a wonderful experience so far.
However, the economic instability of my country and study is shown prominently in the diminishing job opportunities, so you can imagine a PhD student without a reasonable job pay is just like trying to climb a mountain.
A PhD by itself is a taxing experience, but a PhD in Africa is even more demanding. For a pessimist it may be discouraging, but I like to see the bright side of things. I am so thankful to be in a university where lecturers encourage students (though not financially) to try their best, that it will be over someday, and to just start somewhere. However, the peculiar challenge has always been lack of financial support which could stifle creativity and productivity. To work around this situation, I have learnt to plan my experiments several months in advance knowing fully well that I may not have immediate access to funding.
Like any other life experience, my PhD journey has its highs and lows. During the low times, I think deeply about the situation and the possibilities. Most times I cry because I am tired and feel that I can’t push anymore. I feel I can’t make my arguments work properly. There are times I also cry because I feel I have made arguments in many ways, thus going around in circles.
Despite all this, I have learnt to encourage myself from time to time due to how far I have come in this PhD journey, even if the progress is not always felt. I keep on focusing on positive thoughts (like “I know one day I will finish, though it may not be with my colleagues”) which gives me more strength for the rest of the journey.