Alia Abukiwan
BIO
PhD, Molecular Biologist at Heidelberg University Hospital. 3 children (15, 12 & 8 years old).
Instagram: @alia_kiwan
Twitter: @Abukiwan
Alia Abukiwan
“I felt that my work and my passion for discovering the molecular world would positively influence my children and inspire them.”
From a very young age I had aspirations of becoming a scientist. I was a curious girl who wanted to know not only "how?" but also "why?". I was amazed by the stories my teacher told me about famous scientists like Marie Curie and many others. But, not following the usual order of things, first I became a mother and then I became a scientist; so my journey with science began with three children. And that's the story I would like to share…
I finished my Bachelor's in the Biological Sciences in my home country of Jordan. I got married and moved with my husband to Germany, with a new language, a new culture, and new challenges.
I never forgot my dream to become a scientist. I focused on my goal to find a suitable Master's program in Germany. Unfortunately, at that time, there were no Master's programs in English. They told me to wait - that the system would change, and to keep my eyes open.
In the meantime, I decided to have children, learn the German language, and to look forward to my goal. Six years later, I remember how I jumped for joy when I received the news about Heidelberg University: they had announced their International Master's Program in Molecular Bioscience. It was 2007/2008.
I applied to that Master's Program under fear and pressure. When I submitted my application, my imposter syndrome was at its highest. I asked myself: "Why would they accept a mother with two small children to study molecular bioscience? Why would they want to take a woman with a gap in her scientific life of six years?". This six-year gap was filled with intensive personal learning skills: I learned to be a good mother to two wonderful boys; I learned the German language; I engaged in German society as a woman activist; and I kept myself up-to-date in the sciences by reading nature and science journals.
I got accepted into the program, and it was a big family anniversary because the challenge had been huge, and my dream was coming true. The beginning was not as easy as I expected, and I had to work twice as much as my colleagues, especially with my lack of lab work experience.
I defended my master thesis with three young children, and my research was also published as a co-authorship with my supervisor, who encouraged me to look for a PhD position. However, my friends put pressure of another kind on me asking: "Why should you do that? You must choose between your children and a PhD, and you should focus on your children instead of your dreams."
I am a person who thinks outside the box. I felt that my work and my passion for discovering the molecular world would positively influence my children and inspire them. I would be the best role model I could be as a strong and passionate mother. I would show them that women can find a balance between both worlds. And they would see and be inspired by their supportive father as well.
Even with my mind made, finding a Ph.D. position for a mother with three children was not easy. Whenever I sent my CV, I received excellent feedback and with it a formal interview. I noticed when the interviewer asked me about my family situation, I immediately imagined the upcoming apology email… "We have chosen another candidate and wish you luck in your future scientific endeavours".
During one of the interviews, a lab director told me clearly: "If I agree to have you as a Ph.D. student, be ready to say goodbye to family life, social activities, and hobbies". Eventually, I found a supportive lab supervisor that respected passionate students and women.
On the family level, everything was going fine, but at work, I used to hear a lot of gossip spreading from colleagues; "How could this mother of three children be creative, organised, and structured in her work?", "How can she be a scientist? Science and children don't mix". Some of them mentioned that I couldn't run experiments on the same day because I had children. This just increased the psychological pressure I was putting on myself.
In the end, I graduated with a Ph.D. degree and published a research paper. I then completed a postdoc, and now I am leading a project in epigenetic regulation. I do my lab work, follow the plan, write proposals, and attend international conferences.
Yes, I am still on a successful scientific path, as well as caring for my children in their schoolwork, and in their hobbies and activities. There are still days when I find myself fighting the desire to prove to the world that not only can I do both, but that I am doing both well.
At this time, there is not enough support for working mothers, especially those in academia. As a mother in science, I have found myself solidly working to support other mothers. In the academic environment, we need to take real action to reduce gender bias in hiring procedures, grant committees, and evaluation systems.
I say to every woman dreaming of science, fuel your passion with patience and go for it. You have to work hard to catch your chance, and stay fully equipped to manage your struggles - but you don’t have to be a genius. The world of science needs you. It is incredible and can bring lots of joy and much success. It’s an adventure that will allow you to understand everything around you.