Alyssa Vito
BIO
PhD Candidate in immuno-oncology at McMaster University, breast cancer survivor and advocate, mom of two.
Instagram: @allthingsalyss
Twitter: @allthingsalyss
Alyssa Vito
“At the end of the day, it isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it.”
After having breast cancer at the age of 23, my oncologist told me I would likely have difficulties getting pregnant and that there was a chance that the chemotherapy had made me infertile. I finished treatments in March and started graduate school that September. I met my husband on the first day of graduate school, was married 8 months later and pregnant a month after that.
My masters supervisor wasn’t flexible as far as maternity leave was concerned. He told me that I either took maternity leave and was out of the lab doing no work whatsoever, or I was in the lab working 40 hours a week. There was no alternative. I worked with radioactivity up until a few days before my son was born, waddling up and down the halls and rushing to finish a manuscript that would be the bulk of my MSc.
When my son was born, I took 5 months maternity leave before coming back to finish up some experiments and defend. After finishing my masters and working as a research assistant for a year, I finally decided to take the plunge and joined a new lab to pursue my doctoral degree. My new supervisor paid me to come and work in the lab as a research assistant for a couple of months before my PhD actually started, so that I could get my training out of the way and hit the ground running for my own project.
Before reaching the point of “officially starting”, I found out I was pregnant with my second. This time, with a female supervisor who also had children during her rise in academia, things were much more flexible. I never took an official maternity leave. I worked from home writing and preparing for my qualifying exam while adapting to life as a mom of two and was back in the lab doing experiments two months later.
Academia, and particularly the field of immuno-oncology, is so fast-paced and can be so cut-throat at times that it can be a really harsh environment when you’re trying to start a family.
It’s like you are walking across a tightrope that most people would inevitably fall off regardless, and you keep piling more and more on top of yourself as you walk. A husband. A house. A child. Another child. You are cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, writing manuscripts, reading literature, speaking on panels, going to conferences, raising tiny humans, nursing them, nurturing them, desperately trying to keep your chin up so you don’t fall from your current place. It’s a difficult act to balance.
One thing that has helped me during my own ascension in grad school has been finding female mentors in the field. Those who themselves have been there, as a working mother trying to make it in the world of academia. Whether you actually approach these women for direct mentorship or not, simply finding them and watching as they gracefully navigate the tightrope themselves is inspiring and gives me the strength to find my own way.
As much as grad school has been a developmental stage of my professional life, it has also been a time of many life milestones for me. I met my husband. Got married. Gave birth to my son. Gave birth to my daughter. All the while trying to stay in the race of a fast-paced academic field where you don’t want to risk being pushed to the side, forgotten or trampled. Now, as I come to the end of my PhD and have spent many months writing my thesis and putting together manuscripts while simultaneously homeschooling two young kids, I am so grateful for the experience and maturity I have gained from motherhood. At the end of the day, it isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it.