Aurélie Carlier
BIO
Mathematical biologist, assistant professor at Maastricht University, mom of 2.
Twitter: @ACarlier_PhD
Aurélie Carlier
“Being an academic mom is a challenge, it is continuously finding a new balance, but it is possible and very rewarding, I would not want to have it in any other way!”
My name is Aurélie Carlier, I am an assistant professor at the MERLN Institute for Technology-Inspired Regenerative Medicine where I run a group focusing on computational modeling. Besides being a passionate scientist, I am also a supervisor, a teacher, a mentor, a manager, a colleague, an activist for gender justice, and more importantly, a (best) friend, a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother of two little boys.
I did a PhD in biomedical engineering, and after one year of postdoc, I took on a position at Maastricht University, which was defined as a trial-year as postdoc to move on to assistant professor. I remember vividly that I had originally turned down this opportunity while I was still in the interview stage.
I thought, although without children at the time, I could never combine this high-demanding job with children and a long commute. In the end, I took on the challenge and till this day I am very happy and grateful I did.
This does not mean that it has always been easy, there have been many bumps in the road. I got pregnant within the first year I started, and I struggled a lot with combining work with child care. The many sleepless nights and breastfeeding took their toll, I ignored the many warning signs my body was sending me and after my first boy turned one, I got a CMV infection and had to rest for almost 8 weeks. It was my GP (who I had seen too many times in that first year) who told me that I had to think about my work-life balance, and that my current way of doing things was not very sustainable. It was a harsh lesson, but I learned to take better care of myself, to say no and appreciate that ok is sometimes also good enough.
When I got pregnant with my second son, I was worried I would make the same mistakes again, but I listened to my body, took more days off to rest and found a nice balance in which I could enjoy my family and still feel intellectually challenged and on top of my professional game. My boys are almost 5 and 3 now, and I feel it is getting easier, they are becoming a bit more independent and are starting to take care of themselves more. Soon, my next challenge will be to let go of work on the Wednesday afternoons I dedicate to playing with them, but still getting all the scientific work done (and not worrying too much when the work piles up!).
Recently I came across the following advice: “create your personal definition of success”, which really resonated with me.
As academics we all have an amazing drive, to make new discoveries, to enthuse our students, to set up new initiatives and as mothers we also want to be there for our children, teach them new things and share experiences. I think it is important to define for yourself what you and your family need, what you define as a successful life, and to then live up to it. Being an academic mom is a challenge, it is continuously finding a new balance, but it is possible and very rewarding, I would not want to have it in any other way! The sky is the limit!