Dila Puspita
BIO
PhD candidate in Actuarial Science at the University of Waterloo (Canada) and a mom of two.
Instagram: @dilapuspitahadi
Dila Puspita
“Doing a PhD with kids is hard but I believe it is worth it!”
After I graduated with a Masters in Applied Mathematics in 2011, I worked as a researcher and lecturer. My main jobs were to develop mathematical models and software on real problems from financial companies. I was so happy that my passion in mathematics could benefit others in the real world!
I received a full scholarship from the Indonesian government to pursue a PhD in Actuarial Science at the University of Waterloo, Canada. My husband, our 3-year-old daughter and I moved to Canada to start our new journey.
Our first year in Waterloo went well. My husband started his new job, my daughter loved her new preschool and I passed my comprehensive exam and all required courses. I was so busy and the exam and courses were hard, but fortunately I got full support from my husband and daughter. We all enjoyed this first year!
In the second year of my PhD, I got pregnant. We wanted to have another baby but not during my studies! Doing a PhD with one kid was hard enough for me and I worried about studying during my pregnancy.
Moreover, I had a bad experience with my first pregnancy - I had a preterm labour and an emergency c-section. My research progress during my pregnancy was very slow, and I even resigned from my TA job. Luckily, my supervisors were very understanding and did not push me. I had very bad morning sickness and mood swings in the 1st trimester and gestational hypertension in the 2nd. I focused on my health during the pregnancy - I tried to reduce my stress, do regular exercise and eat a healthy diet. My condition improved and I had a beautiful natural VBAC labour.
I could not take maternity leave, so I went back to the university a month after giving birth and my husband stayed home with our baby. I was provided a small refrigerator in my office to store my expressed breast milk.
I worked hard during my office hours to catch up on my research, and my supervisors were happy with my progress. However, my baby only bottle fed for about a month, after which she refused to take a bottle and cried a lot.
Since that time I have worked from home, which works for me because I don’t have any lab work. I also get support from my husband who also works at home, and sometimes I bring my baby to the university if I need to go. I divide my work into small chunks using the pomodoro technique and feed my baby between work sessions.
My older daughter loves to join in with me while I work, she will keep busy with her math or drawing book. I also work at night when the girls go to bed. Sometimes I need to slow down if the children are sick, but other times I will work harder and achieve more.
I recently opened Facebook and Instagram accounts to communicate with other PhD moms. It helps me to avoid the feeling of isolation during my work from home. Sometimes I arrange playdates with other PhD mamas where we can work for a few hours while the children play. Knowing that I’m not alone on this rocky road keeps me motivated to be a better mom and researcher.
Doing a PhD with kids is hard but I believe it is worth it! It makes us stronger, intellectually and emotionally. My 1st grader has taught me to enjoy the learning process.
Everyday when she returns home from school she will excitedly tell me everything she learnt that day. Her positive attitude towards learning inspires me to focus and be grateful instead of complaining. I have also learnt from my baby that everybody has their own milestones, there is no need to compare and compete.