Gemma Goldenberg
BIO
First year PhD Psychology researcher at University of East London and Mum of 3.
Instagram: @phd_and_three
Gemma goldenberg
“Doing something which excites and energises me makes me happy, and that helps me to be a better mom too.”
I’ve always had an interest in Psychology and when my youngest son started school, I decided to study for a Psychology Masters part time, alongside my job as an Assistant Headteacher at a primary school in London. I attended lectures after work once each week and had Fridays studying at home when the kids were at school. It was a good balance and I loved learning new things and doing something that was just for me.
Exam times and essay submissions were challenging, invariably something with the kids would always come up as I approached a deadline. I learnt to always do my university work well in advance and to manage my time well. By the time I graduated, I was pregnant with my third child. It felt like the perfect timing, with one chapter closing as another began.
Just as I was beginning my maternity leave, my Masters supervisor contacted me to tell me about a PhD studentship opportunity. It was the last thing on my mind when it was in the run up to Christmas and I was about to give birth any day! I was initially reluctant but my supervisor pointed out that I wouldn’t need to start until the baby was almost one year old, and that I could do the PhD part time and make it work around my family commitments. I applied, thinking I probably wouldn’t get the place anyway.
When my third son was a few weeks old, I found out that I’d been accepted! My PhD project was going to be looking at the impact of the learning environment, in particular natural outdoor settings, on children’s cognition and behaviour. It’s an area I’ve always been passionate about, and to devote five years to exploring it felt like a huge privilege. I was both overjoyed and terrified to have won the studentship. I’m so glad that my supervisor encouraged me to apply and believe that I should take this opportunity.
As mothers, we shouldn’t have to choose between our families and a career or education that fulfils us. When supported, we can do both. Doing something which excites and energises me makes me happy, and that helps me to be a better mom too.
At the moment, my PhD work is very flexible. I work a lot from home and enjoy being able to pick my older children up from school each day. However, this flexibility also comes at a cost - the lack of ‘clearly protected’ work time (which I would have if I was leaving the house to work elsewhere) means that family commitments often creep into work time. There is forever something which throws my work schedule off track and I can sometimes feel envious of my husband for having the clear work/home boundaries that don’t exist for me.
Despite this, I love that I can be there for my kids when they need me, and the fact that I learn something new each day. I hope I’m modelling for my children that you can achieve a lot by working hard, doing something you’re passionate about, and sticking with it. I didn’t enjoy or excel at science when I was at school, and I never dreamed I would do a Masters let alone a PhD. Sometimes I wonder how on earth I ended up here, but here I am.
Slowly I’m gaining the confidence that I have earnt my right to be here, and belong here as much as anyone else. I’m still learning how to juggle the demands of each aspect of life - the part time paid work I do, my PhD studies and taking care of my children.