Melinda Babits
BIO
Behavioural ecologist, 4th year PhD student, and a mother of two.
Instagram: @blattarium
Twitter: @Blattarium
Melinda Babits
“I love learning, observing and discovering. This is what I want my kids to see and why I’m not quitting.”
I am a PhD student studying social behaviour and personality in arthropods. I worked really hard during my BSc & MSc studies - spending 10-12 hours working in the lab every day, even on holidays, because I wanted to become a successful theoretical biologist.
Just as I got accepted to the PhD program, my supervisor changed my topic. He gave me something I specifically said I don’t want to do - lab experiments. At that moment my whole world just collapsed. I worked hard and achieved nothing, and I wanted to quit.
My son was born during my second year, and I took a year of maternity leave. During this time I learnt that I love being a mother but I missed doing science, so I decided to continue my PhD studies.
Despite doing my best, my experiments failed. All of them. I became more and more stressed. Without results I can’t write papers, and I would need at least two to complete my PhD.
By the time of my half-term exam I was pregnant with our second child, but just after the exam I lost our baby. I had to have surgery. I felt guilty for not taking my laptop to the hospital. I passed the exam but I was told I need to work harder if I want a PhD title, so I tried.
Then I became pregnant again and I just couldn’t keep going. I was afraid of losing my baby, I was afraid I would get kicked out of the university for not working hard enough. My husband suggested talking to a therapist. I did, and she made me realize I did achieve a lot of things and what I do is enough, because I’m doing my best.
I have a 3 yo son and a 6 mo daughter and they mean the world to me. I love science, but by focusing on just one goal I lost sight of why I really love doing this. I love learning, observing and discovering. This is what I want my kids to see, and this is why I am not quitting. I have one year left of my PhD. I’ll do my best to submit my thesis, because I know I can do it.