Rose DF
BIO
I’m an astrophysicist studying applied astronautics and a science communicator. I have a 13-year-old son and have a side-gig administrating end of life care for the elderly and cognitive impaired.
Instagram: @_astro_nerd_
Twitter: @_astro_nerd_
ROSE DF
“Being a single mom made me a different kind of outcast.”
My scimom journey started even before I attended college. I married young due to indoctrination, dealt with various kinds of abuse, buried a baby daughter and I’m raising my son as a single mom.
Pursuing science was always a need for me, and my love of science saved my life. After I was able to end my homelessness, which was a result of me leaving my relationship and being cast out by family for it—getting myself into college was my top priority aside from my child. I’m a first generation many things, including scientist and as a single mom, which was so incredibly hard.
I always thought when I walked into academia I would find guidance, instead what I got was discouragement. I wasn’t discouraged from pursuing science because I wasn’t smart enough; the discouragement came when I said I was a single mom, and I can’t lie about it—I was shocked.
The first person I spoke to was an “advisor” who said “Are you sure you want to major in science? It’s very hard and you’re a single mother, we wouldn’t want to set you up for failure”. It didn’t matter whom I spoke to at that institution; in their eyes I was predisposed to failure because I didn’t fit the traditional student mould. I didn’t know at the time how common these biases are, and of course they crushed me. I doubted myself every step of the way, but I enrolled anyway. Ultimately I had to leave that institution due to the absolute lack of academic support, but it was for the best. I can’t say it’s been easy.
Being a single mom made me a different kind of outcast, I even had to hide I had a kid to get jobs so I wouldn’t be presumed incompetent or too distracted by family duties appointed by societal norms. When I opened up to scimoms on Twitter I got judged immediately and that’s when I learned that biases are everywhere.
I became tired of being judged, so I have become quite unapologetic about my life. Although I don’t regret the steps I’ve taken or even my struggles, I’ll forever challenge the stereotypes associated with being a single mom, especially in academia. I know there’ll be more challenges as I climb the ivory tower in pursuit of my academic dreams, but I’m prepared to face them head on.