Yara Reis
BIO
External Relations Manager at Global BioImaging - EMBL (Germany) and mother-of-two.
Twitter: @YaraReis_yreis
Yara Reis
“Being a mother has forced me to prioritize my time and learn how to delegate responsibilities and communicate effectively.”
I was a scientist long before becoming a mother. The sacrifices implicit in life in a lab were evident from the start of my journey, and I learned from my peers and mentors that this was what I needed to do to succeed. I became deeply passionate about advancing my field and making meaningful contributions to the scientific community. At the time, I fully believed that my first publications compensated for all the hard work and financial debt.
However, I was lucky. I was lucky to have a "failed PhD" and another that "just about did it". No prominent publications, no significant scientific advancements.
In a way, my disappointment in my scientific career led me to find fulfillment in other areas where I could still have a positive impact: social justice, science outreach, and children's education. This shift in focus allowed me to use my scientific skills in a new and meaningful way, even if only in my free time.
At my first job, I was already training to be a parent by ensuring that my colleagues in the lab had the best possible conditions for success. I was passionate about their research and could contribute to their success in a small but essential way. However, when my first child was born, I quickly realized that the long hours, empty fridge, and regular weekend and holiday work that came with being a scientist were incompatible with the needs of a small child that needs you more than anything.
Being a mother has forced me to prioritize my time and learn how to delegate responsibilities and communicate effectively. Thanks to my partner, I was able to continue working almost at the same pace as before, including being available 24/7, on weekends, and on public holidays.
However, I often felt guilty for asking for "special treatment" when I needed to adjust my childcare schedule. For example, I would ask colleagues to move meetings earlier in the day, so I could pick up my daughter from kindergarten or ask my partner to pick her up if I was stuck in a long lab meeting. With my second child, I would also ask to attend meetings virtually if he was sick so I could still provide my input without compromising childcare. Sometimes I had to ask my child to stop crying because I couldn't be the one to take him to kindergarten that morning.
Later on, I realized that being a parent of a small child is a relatively short and incredibly SPECIAL period in life. Because of this, society should normalize providing "special treatment" for parents during this time. This can include recognizing and supporting their unique challenges and needs and creating a more understanding and supportive environment for them to thrive.
With two young children, 6 years apart, with very different needs and no additional family support, balancing my work and personal life became overwhelming. In addition, the Covid-related restrictions on child care made it necessary for us to hire a babysitter to pick up and stay with our kids twice a week. This was the tipping point for me, and I decided that it was time to challenge the norm of "blind and unpaid" work dedication that is so typical and expected of scientists.
As I reflected on my experience as a parent and no longer a scientist, but working in a science lab, I compared it to that of my partner, who worked in industry and was able to experience regular salary increases and career growth while also spending quality time with our children.
This contrast made me realize that I needed to make a change to prioritize my family and my well-being. I decided to reduce my working hours and look for a new line of work that would allow me to have a better work-life balance.
I believe that society as a whole stands to benefit from a shift in the mentality surrounding public research. By offering support mechanisms and flexibility to parents who are scientists, we can create a more inclusive and sustainable work environment for all.
In my case, stopping and shifting priorities was the best decision: I found a job where I can have a positive impact in both science and society. I have more autonomy on my schedule and, therefore, can balance the kids' needs with my job. Finally, we moved closer to the grandparents for this job, who provide invaluable support for our family.