Karen Bottenfield
Karen Bottenfield is a Mom of an 8-year-old boy and a PhD candidate in Boston (US). In this feature, she tells us about the challenges she has faced as a mother in STEMM and how she found the determination, bravery and resilience to overcome those barriers and to successfully juggle a career and raising a child. Read her inspiring story below.
Instagram: @krbott | Twitter: @krstgeorge | LinkedIn: karen-bottenfield-864a14100
1. Please describe your job in one sentence.
I am a PhD Candidate in Anatomy and Neurobiology at Boston University School of Medicine investigating therapeutics to enhance recovery after stroke.
2. What do you aspire to accomplish in your career and why?
After completing my PhD, I am excited to seek a career path that will provide an opportunity to support novel research aimed at increasing the survival and quality of life of those afflicted by neurological injury and disease. I am also interested in technological and social advancements designed to enhance human health and longevity. My lifelong goals have been to find a career path that will directly impact the well-being of others. Growing up, my mother had numerous health problems which resulted in long hospital stays and extended periods of time in a wheelchair. I saw her struggles and I often feared losing her. I believe this experience instilled my deep desire to make a difference in the scientific and medical communities that will lead to better outcomes and a richer quality of life for those enduring the impacts of injuries or disease. I’ve also maintained a personal interest in technological and biological advancements that are being developed in novel ways to enhance human quality of life and stretch the limits of our life span.
3. What do you consider to be your most important career achievement or milestone?
My most important career achievement has been earning a doctoral degree that included the opportunity to contribute important research about stroke recovery and potential therapeutics.
4. What career obstacles have you faced as a mother in STEMM? How did you overcome them?
As a mother, I have faced many obstacles along my career path. During the first year of my PhD program, my ex-husband and I separated. He left town completely and I was alone with my 3-year-old son and no family or friends to help. I had to figure out how to financially support the two of us and find child care so that I could continue attending classes and start working in the lab. Getting the student loans I needed to get by on was incredibly difficult and stressful. There were endless trips to the financial aid office and meetings with various administrators. Despite the school’s desire to be “family friendly”, the financial aid department for my program had little experience working with graduate student parents, especially single parents. By the second year of my program, I was going through a divorce while preparing for my qualifying exam. I passed the written portion of the exam but failed the oral. I couldn’t spread myself any thinner at the time. I was trying desperately to stay in the program by keeping up on my classes, working in the lab, fulfilling my teaching hours, all while caring for my son and maintaining a home. I suffered major panic attacks that landed me in the ER several times and my self-esteem plummeted. Yet, despite all this, I never lost my determination. Eventually, I passed my oral exam which was a huge relief and helped give me the recharge I need to keep going. The following years were still incredibly challenging. I was tested in all facets – emotionally, mentally, and physically. There were months at a time that I couldn’t get a single day off to spend time with my son. I missed him so much, but I couldn’t risk getting kicked out of the program so I continued to do everything I could to keep going. Dishes and laundry piled up as I stayed up past midnight most nights doing homework or trying to study, weekends were spent doing more school work and trying to catch up enough on chores to get through the next week, and if I was lucky, I would manage to fit an hour or two of quality time for my son. My son was adaptable and I was lucky to get him into a great daycare program, but my guilt surged at times. I had to remind myself that all of this was only temporary and better days were ahead. I had to trust that all the hard work and sacrifices were going to be worth it and down the road I would be able to make it up to my son. So, I continued on, pretending as if I could do everything any other student could do just so that nobody could use my motherhood as a reason I couldn’t finish my PhD.
I’m in the 7th year of my PhD now and preparing to graduate in just a few months. Looking back, I’m incredibly amazed that I was able to keep everything going for so long. I don’t know that I could do it a second time, but I sure am happy I kept my determination to get through it when I did. Reflecting back, I am proud of my resourcefulness, creativity, and strength to get through graduate school while also being the best mother I could be. Beyond my own accomplishments, I am incredibly proud of my son. These years were a challenge for him as well, but he knows my boundless love for him and he has developed into such an amazing, thoughtful, funny, and happy 8-year-old.
5. What was the best professional or personal advice you’ve ever received?
While I was an undergraduate student, my professor gave me this simple piece of advice: if you get an offer into a PhD program, take it! Despite all the challenges and struggles I have endured to get through a PhD program as a single parent, I have never felt an ounce of regret. Overall, the experience has made me stronger and more determined than ever. My professor believed in me and gave me that little extra boost of confidence I needed to go headstrong towards my dream and I will always be grateful.
6. How did MiS help you professionally and/or personally?
Mothers in Science has provided me with a wonderful opportunity to connect with other parents with common goals, aspirations, and challenges. The support and inspiration gained from these shared experiences has contributed to my enthusiasm and confidence as a single mom and scientist.
7. What advice would you give to a mother in STEMM?
I would advise fellow STEMM mothers to be in the moment with your child whenever you can. Juggling life with all its ups and downs can be challenging, but the one constant is our children. I recall some of the most difficult days I had as a graduate student and reminding myself that no matter what kind of day I had, I would make it home every night to wrap my arms around my son and see his smile. These moments are so precious and have the power of making every day a little brighter.